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Annoying Corporate Jargon

I actually heard somebody mention “think outside the box” today in a meeting, and I almost lost my lunch. What types of Jargon get on your nerves? There’s loads on buzzwhack, but here are my top 25 annoyances. Which ones annoy you?

1 – Think outside the box
2- (This one’s a gas) “Natural Tea Break” (logging of away-desk/bathroom break time, particularly in call centres)
3 – Downsizing (ie making redundancies and annoying both employer and employee)
4 – Outsourcing (ie can’t be bothered to do it yourself, so pay someone)
5 – Wrinkle (aka challenge, but really means problem)
6 – EBITDA (if you see EBITDA mentioned in a powerpoint, run a mile. It can only be boring stats)
7 – Venting; to vent (aka having a good whinge)
8 – SMART (Specific Measurable Agreed Realistic Time-bound. In other words, anal…arghh)
9 – Walk The Talk
10 – Walk The Floor Management (ie hovering around, looking like a spare wheel, and getting on the nerves of all employees)


11 – “Seamless” (usually combined with “integrated”)
12 – E-business/E-commerce (ie 1% of the activity and effort happens on-line, and 99% happens off-line)
13 – B2B (ie we only deal with other businesses, because we hate whinging private customers)
14 – Networking, particularly at conferences (having a good gossip and drinking a lot)
15 – CRM, or CRM IT solutions (doing what you’re supposed to do anyway – look after your customers)
16 – Contact Centre (previously call centre, face it it’s a CALL CENTRE)
17 – Deliverable (somebody comes to your office asking about deliverables, run and hide. Take a natural tea break or something)
18 – Helicopter View (I’ve seen this in job adverts quite often…)
19 – Vertical Markets (usually best studied while horizontally reclining with a martini in one hand)
20 – Work-Life balance (I’m guilty of using this one big time. Erm, you live, and you work. We’ve been doing it for centuries – in former times even with large extended families and in more poverty-stricken eras)
21 – Grow the brand (products need to photosynthesize, you know…)
22 – Event Management (organize training sessions, conferences, annual sales meetings and you’re now skilled as an Event Manager)
23 – Escalate, to demand an escalation (complain to your colleague’s boss because they ain’t getting the work done quick/good enough)
24 – SME (already confusing because it’s either Subject Matter Expert or Small and Medium Enterprise – either way, you deserve another natural tea break for it)
25 – (And everyone’s favourite when compiling a CV) “multi-tasking”

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  1. 9 Comment(s)

  2. By Tom - StandOutBlogger.com | Reply

    wow…pretty sure you covered them all right there! nice list of annoying phrases :P

  3. By JustChris | Reply

    My company is actually more risk averse and my boss jokingly says we shouldn’t think outside the box lol. I never got the CRM one especially.

  4. By V3ry_H!GH | Reply

    Uhm…I hate it when people say exponential growth!

  5. By LisaKay | Reply

    Facilitator – our local Chamber of Commerce hired an outside facilitator to improve the results of our annual membership drive. [I think I would like a job like that because as far as I can tell, he didn't do a thing.]

  6. By King Karlos | Reply

    Unfortunately there are so many annoying and pervasive corporate buzzwords these days. Whenever I hear someone at work utter “going forwards” I ask them when was the last time they “went backwards”.

  7. By diamondTearz | Reply

    I actually googled these a couple of weeks ago and I just came across your list while browsing your blog! I just recently joined the corporate culture and get to hear people talking that way all day and it’s still a bit funny sounding to me although I know it’s a “must-have”.

    Anyway- Thanks for putting this list together!

  8. By Peter | Reply

    Love it…I compiled my own list of corporate jargon that must die in 2010.

    http://www.businessandthegeek.com/?p=143

  9. By Drone | Reply

    What about “low-hanging fruit” and “webinar”?

  10. By IT Geek | Reply

    here are some more nauseating ones

    “Reach Out To” – call someone

    “space” – as in the “Mobile Technology Space” – ??? translation anyone?

    “skill set” – area of expertise

    “story” – translation anyone? something like information, I guess

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